


Hamilton chats!

by Michaelinthebathroomeatingsourcream



Series: Fandom group chats [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron James and Thomas aren't assholes in this, Bisexual Alexander, Enjoy!, Gay James, Gay Thomas, George and Laf are foster siblings, Lee mr Reynolds and Henry Laurens are still assholes though, Multi, Nonbinary Lafayette, Pansexual Lafayette, Pansexual Peggy, Slow burn for Eliza/Maria James/Thomas Aaron/Theodosia John/Alex and Laf/Hercules, Transgender Peggy, aaron Alex and the Schulyers are all adopted siblings, also super gay Hercules, demisexual Maria, lesbian Eliza, super gay John, washingdad and washingmom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-16 03:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7249948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michaelinthebathroomeatingsourcream/pseuds/Michaelinthebathroomeatingsourcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laffytaffy: mon ami's! </p><p>Hotpants: Laf its 3:00 am </p><p>Hotpants: I know you're in Frace right now and it's like 9:00 am over there but over we are sleeping </p><p>Non-Stop: I'm not</p><p>Hotpants: well that's because you're inhuman </p><p>NinjaTurtle: I'm not</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Revolutionary Set

**Author's Note:**

> Hotpants= Hercules Mulligan  
> Non-Stop= Alexander Hamilton  
> NinjaTurtle= John Laurens  
> LaffyTaffy= Lafayette

Laffytaffy has created a group chat

Laffytaffy has named group chat the revolutionary set 

Laffytaffy has added Non-Stop, NinjaTurtle, and Hotpants 

Laffytaffy: mon ami's! 

Hotpants: Laf its 3:00 am 

Hotpants: I know you're in Frace right now and it's like 9:00 am over there but over we are sleeping 

Non-Stop: I'm not

Hotpants: well that's because you're inhuman 

NinjaTurtle: I'm not 

Hotpants: you're probably with Alex right now

NinjaTurtle: HOW DID YOU KNOW

Non-Stop: ITS NOT LIKE WEVE LIVE TOGETHER 

NinjaTurtle: YOU MUST BE A FUCKING WIZARD 

Non-Stop: YOURE A WIZARD HERCULES 

Hotpants: guys

Hotpants: guys please stop 

LaffyTaffy: I thought you two were going home this summer

Non-Stop: we are 

NinjaTurtle: we're leaving tomorrow

Non-Stop: we needed to eat the food in the fridge first 

Non-Stop: you know Laurens you don't have to go home 

Non-Stop: you could go home with me

Non-Stop: I don't have an abusive asshole for a father and my sisters don't side with him

NinjaTurtle: Alexander weve talked about this 

NinjaTurtle: I have to make sure Mary and Martha are okay

LaffyTaffy: you're a good brother John 

LaffyTaffy: I wish you were mine 

NinjaTurtle: thanks boo! 

NinjaTurtle: anyways this is the last time I'm going to get to go home anyways 

Hotpants: and why is that?

NinjaTurtle: I'm coming out

NinjaTurtle: like I'm burning the closet down and never looking back 

LaffyTaffy: MERDE SAINTE JOHN! 

Hotpants: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS 

NinjaTurtle: yes I am 

NinjaTurtle: also Alex is chocking on Doritos 

NinjaTurtle: he's fine now 

NinjaTurtle: he looks like he might cry 

Non-Stop: JOHN IM SO PROUD 

Non-Stop: MY SON 

LaffyTaffy: we're all proud of you Johnny boy

NinjaTurtle: don't call me Johnny boy

NinjaTurtle: and thanks I'm proud of me as well 

Hotpants: so is there any other bombs you would like to drop on us

NinjaTurtle: nope 

NinjaTurtle: you guys have any bombs

Non-Stop: my parents are adopting a baby

Hotpants: I don't blame them

Hotpants: they lost all five of their children last year 

Non-Stop: they didn't lose us they we just went to college 

LaffyTaffy: practically the same things 

NinjaTurtle: OMG is it a girl or boy???

Non-Stop: not sure yet. They refuse to tell us until we meet them

Non-Stop: Aaron, Eliza, and I want a sister but Peggy and Angelica wants a brother 

Hotpants: that's awesome! 

Non-Stop: I'm so excited. The due date is a month away 

LaffyTaffy: I HAVE A BOMB TO DROP 

Hotpants: what is it Laf?

LaffyTaffy: GEORGE JUST TEXTED ME 

LaffyTaffy: GUYS HES PROPOSING TO MARTHA 

NinjaTurtle: HOLY 

Hotpants: FUCKING

Non-Stop: SHIT

LaffyTaffy: IM SCREAMING RIGHT NOW

NinjaTurtle: Alex you owe my twenty dollars and nachos 

Non-Stop: You shut the fuck up Laurens you fucking turtle fucker! 

NinjaTurtle: FUCK YOU 

NinjaTurtle: GO MAKE ME MY FUCKING NACHOS 

Non-Stop: MAKE ME 

Hotpants: dear god you guys

LaffyTaffy: chill 

Hotpants: I don't think they know how to.

LaffyTaffy: probably not 

NinjaTurtle: Alex has decided to be a good Baby Girl and make daddy his nachos 

Hotpants: LAURENS DO I HAVE TO FUCKING FLY BACK ALL THE WAY TO NEW YORK TO FUCKING KINK SHAME YOU 

LaffyTaffy: DYING 

Non-Stop: please do Herc 

NinjaTurtle: Alex is just glaring at me 

NinjaTurtle: he won't admit but he loves it

Non-Stop: no I don't

NinjaTurtle: shut the fuck up baby girl you love it 

Hotpants: that's it I'm going to bed 

Non-Stop: wait no come kink shame John!

LaffyTaffy: night night Hercules!

NinjaTurtle: night Herc! 

Non-Stop: DONT LEAVE ME WITH THE KINKEST PEOPLE ON EARTH


	2. May the Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LadyMartha: I'm so in 
> 
> ImaRealGirl: good! 
> 
> GeneralGeorge: if this mean Laf would stop pinning over Herc I'm in 
> 
> AngelicaPickles: great 
> 
> AngelicaPickles: so the next way to spice this up is that we make bets 
> 
> LadyMartha: bets? On what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AngelicaPickles= Angelica   
> ImaRealGirl= Peggy   
> GeneralGeorge= George   
> LadyMartha= Martha

ImaRealGirl has created a group chat 

ImaRealGirl has named group chat wanna play a game 

ImaRealGirl has added AngelicaPickles 

AngelicaPickles: I swear I'm going to kill them 

AngelicaPickles: Eliza won't stop crying about how much she misses Maria, Alex won't shut the fuck up about John's hair, and Aaron won't stop saying he just has to wait and then he can be with Theodosia 

ImaRealGirl: that I why I'm hiding in my room 

ImaRealGirl: the reason I have called you here dear sister is that I would like to play a game 

AngelicaPickles: go on

ImaRealGirl: as you and I both know there is a lot of sexual tension in our friendship circle 

AngelicaPickles: too much 

ImaRealGirl: well I think that is going to all end this year 

AngelicaPickles: what do you mean?

ImaRealGirl: I mean I think we should start pushing them together 

AngelicaPickles: how so?

ImaRealGirl: well for example next time Thomas goes on a spew on how pretty james smile is we say something like "oh you two would make such a cute couple!" 

AngelicaPickles: you want to make them stop being so stupid 

ImaRealGirl: exactly dear sister

AngelicaPickles: I'm in but I have some ways to spice it up a bit 

ImaRealGirl: do tell

AngelicaPickles: well...

AngelicaPickles added GeneralGeorge and LadyMartha

GeneralGeorge: what's going on 

AngelicaPickles: read the past messages George 

LadyMartha: I'm so in 

ImaRealGirl: good! 

GeneralGeorge: if this mean Laf would stop pinning over Herc I'm in 

AngelicaPickles: great 

AngelicaPickles: so the next way to spice this up is that we make bets 

LadyMartha: bets? On what?

AngelicaPickles: on the order of when the get together 

AngelicaPickles: we have five potential couples right?

ImaRealGirl: yep

ImaRealGirl: Alex/John, Eliza/Maria, Aaron/Theo, Thomas/James, and Laf/Herc 

AngelicaPickles: well I think the order Thomas/James, Laf/Herc, Eliza/Maria, Alex/John, and Aaron/Theo being last 

GeneralGeorge: oh I see! 

GeneralGeorge: my prediction is Eliza/Maria, Thomas/James, Aaron/Theo, Laf/Herc, and Alex/John 

ImaRealGirl: no way! 

ImaRealGirl: this is how it's going to go: Laf/Herc, Aaron/Theo, Thomas/James, Alex/John, and Eliza/Maria being last 

LadyMartha: y'all are crazy 

LadyMartha: it's obviously going to be Aaron/Theo, Eliza/Maria, Laf/Herc, Thomas/James, and Alex/John 

AngelicaPickles: so now that we have our predictions how much money do we want to bet? 

LadyMartha: how about twenty bucks each for each on we get right and who ever get the most right get an extra twenty 

GeneralGeorge: damn Martha 

GeneralGeorge: you're going to so much money 

LadyMartha: no way George I have a good feeling about this! 

ImaRealGirl: we should get planning on how we want to go about all this 

LadyMartha: wait! 

LadyMartha changed group chat name to operation get our idiot friends together because their to stupid to do themselves 

LadyMartha: now we can 

AngelicaPickles: Martha I don't think truer words have been typed 

ImaRealGirl: well each of us can work on one couple each 

GeneralGeorge: well there is four of us so one person is going to have to take two couples 

AngelicaPickles: that's fine 

AngelicaPickles: I'll take Eliza/Maria since I'm rooming with Liz and I know Maria better than anyone else 

LadyMartha: I'll take Aaron/Theo, I know Aaron pretty well and Theo is my best friend 

ImaRealGirl: I'm take Laf/Herc since Herc is my partner in crime 

GeneralGeorge: I'll take Thomas/James since we all work in the place 

GeneralGeorge: so who is taking Alex/John 

GeneralGeorge: NOT ME

LadyMartha: NOT ME

ImaRealGirl: NOT ME 

AngelicaPickles: FUCK 

ImaRealGirl: haha loser! 

GeneralGeorge: sorry Angie those two are the most stubborn asses ever and I don't have that much patience 

LadyMartha: good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bets are set and stone. Who is going to win?


	3. The whole team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Non-Stop: I MISS YOU PEOPLE 
> 
> Non-Stop: except Aaron, Peggy, Angelica, and Eliza 
> 
> Non-Stop: I'm about to kill them 
> 
> PYT: Please don't kill Liza Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PYT= Maria  
> LadyMartha= Martha  
> GeneralGeorge= George  
> Non-Stop= Alex  
> NinjaTurtle= John  
> MacandCheese= Thomas  
> AaronBurrSir= Aaron  
> Theology= Theodosia  
> ImaRealGirl= Peggy  
> LizardSky= Eliza  
> AngelicaPickles= Angelica  
> WhyAmIEvenHere= James  
> LaffyTaffy= Lafayette  
> HotPants= Hercules

Non-Stop has created a group chat 

Non-Stop has named group chat the whole team

Non-Stop has added AngelicaPickles, LadyMartha, LizardSky, MacandCheese, GeneralGeorge, HotPants, AaronBurrSir, NinjaTurtle, WhyAmIEvenHere, ImaRealGirl, LaffyTaffy, PYT, and Theology

Non-Stop: I MISS YOU PEOPLE 

Non-Stop: except Aaron, Peggy, Angelica, and Eliza 

Non-Stop: I'm about to kill them 

PYT: Please don't kill Liza Alex 

PYT: she's my best friend and I would cry if she died 

LizardSky: AW BABE<3<3<3<3 

AngelicaPickles: Gay 

Theology: don't kill Aaron 

Theology: I need him for English 

AaronBurrSir: wow I feel loved 

WhyAmIEvenHere: it's okay Aaron I love you 

AaronBurrSir: thank James you are a true friend 

MacandCheese: do you love Aaron more than me 

WhyAmIEvenHere: yes 

ImaRealGirl: oh shit 

MacandCheese: BUT I LOVED YOU JAMES 

MacandCheese: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING 

MacandCheese: FINE IF THATS HOW YOU FEEL I LOVE ALEX MORE THAN YOU 

Non-Stop: SUCK IT JAMES 

WhyAmIEvenHere: no you don't 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I'm your favorite

MacandCheese: no Alex is 

Non-Stop: yeah I'm his favorite suck it James! 

WhyAmIEvenHere: *rolls eyes intensely* 

NinjaTurtle: well if you're killing Alex people mind killing my dad?

Non-Stop: is that even question 

ImaRealGirl: John he's looking at plane tickets 

ImaRealGirl: John he found one 

GeneralGeorge: why are you even with your dad 

LadyMartha: yeah I thought Alex's whole fam said you could stay with them

NinjaTurtle: yeah they did but this is going to be my last summer to see Mary and Martha 

General: why 

AaronBurrSir: why 

LadyMartha: why 

Theology: why

MacandCheese: why 

AngelicaPickles: why 

LizardSky: why 

PYT: why 

ImaRealGirl: why 

WhyAmIEvenHere: why 

NinjaTurtle: because I'm telling him I'm gay 

LadyMartha: WHAT

GeneralGeorge: OH MY GOD 

LizardSky: HOLY CRAP 

AngelicaPickles: HOLY SHIT

ImaRealGirl: HOLY FUCK 

Theology: *SCREAMING* 

AaronBurrSir: *DEAD* 

MacandCheese: *CRYING* 

WhyAmIEvenHere: oh my god John this is a big deal in so proud of you! 

LaffyTaffy: IM SUCH A PROUD PARENT

HotPants: IM A PROUD FATHER 

Non-Stop: Wait if you his Parent and you his father what am i to him 

ImaRealGirl: his boyfriend 

ImaRealGirl: aw he's all blushy 

ImaRealGirl: so adorable 

Non-Stop: *glares intensely* 

Non-Stop: no I am not! 

AngelicaPickles: yes you are 

LizardSky: yeah you 

AaronBurrSir: I'm staring right at you Alex and you're so red 

Non-Stop: shut the fuck up 

LadyMartha: OTP 

GeneralGeorge: ship it 

MacandCheese: so fucking hard

Theology: they gonna get married 

PYT: *dying from cuteness* 

WhyAmIEvenHere: so cute 

LaffyTaffy: my babies! 

HotPants: *wipes tear from eye* 

NinjaTurtle: *groans really loudly* 

AngelicaPickles: just accept that you're madly in love 

Non-Stop: You know I miss you guys a lot less now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows what up


	4. The Trash That Is Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PYT: we should play a game 
> 
> LizardSky: okay what 
> 
> PYT: who would we be
> 
> PYT: it's simple 
> 
> PYT: basically we pick a fandom and we pick out which character each of us would be 
> 
> Non-stop: okay let's start with everyone's favorite 
> 
> Non-Stop: Harry Potter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we know who everyone is at this point

PYT: we should play a game 

LizardSky: okay what 

PYT: who would we be

PYT: it's simple 

PYT: basically we pick a fandom and we pick out which character each of us would be 

Non-stop: okay let's start with everyone's favorite 

Non-Stop: Harry Potter 

AngelicaPickles: I'm Hermione 

NinjaTurtle: I call Sirius! 

Non-Stop: I want to be James 

HotPants: I'm Remus 

LaffyTaffy: I'm Lilly 

PYT: why Lilly 

LaffyTaffy: because I don't want to be Peter or Snape 

LaffyTaffy: because ew 

LizardSky: I'm Neville 

GeneralGeorge: I'll be Dumbledore 

LadyMartha: I want to be Mcgonagall 

ImaRealGirl: Voldemort Voldemort oooooooo voldy Volde Mort 

PYT: I can be Luna 

AngelicaPickles: that mean you Eliza get married 

PYT: shhhh

AaronBurrSir: I want to be Ron 

MacandCheese: I'm Draco all the way 

WhyAmIEvenHere: Harry Potter 

GeneralGeorge: *whispers* 

GeneralGeorge: Drarry 

WhyAmIEvenHere: no 

LadyMartha: yes 

MacandCheese: no 

Theology: I guess I'm Ginny then 

AaronBurrSir: no you're Peter

AaronBurrSir: because you're a traitor 

Theology: Aaron stop being pissy 

AaronBurrSir: not until you apologize

Non-Stop: what did she do? 

AaronBurrSir: betrayed me 

Theology: I told him I shipped Dorian with Celaena 

AaronBurrSir: and Chaol is obviously the better choice 

Non-Stop: wait are you guys not caught up with the series 

AaronBurrSir: no

Theology: nope 

AaronBurrSir: I can hear Alex screaming 

AaronBurrSir: I think Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy are also screaming 

LaffyTaffy: YOU HAVENT FINISHED 

HotPants: WHY HAVENT YOU 

NinjaTurtle: SHAME 

PYT: SO MUCH SHAME 

GeneralGeorge: what are we talking about? 

LadyMartha: I think they're talking about that series throne of glass

MacandCheese: what book are you guys on 

AaronBurrSir: I just started Queen of Shadows

Theology: I'm almost done with heir of fire

WhyAmIEvenHere: smh

Non-Stop: we are no longer brothers 

AaronBurrSir: I'm sorry 

LizardSky: ooo we should do Sarah J Maas books next! 

Non-Stop: yasssss!

Non-Stop: I'm Aelin 

NinjaTurtle: I'm Dorian 

AngelicaPickles: Nesryn

AaronBurrSir: I'll be Chaol 

HotPants: I'm Azreil 

HotPants: we're both sick spy guys 

Non-Stop: Washington is Rowan 

LaffyTaffy: yes! 

MacandCheese: I want to be Tamlin 

Non-Stop: wait have you not finished ACOMAF 

MacandCheese: I'm about to start it 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I'm Lucien 

Non-Stop: Martha is Nehemia 

LizardSky: I want to be Elide 

PYT: Lysandra 

LaffyTaffy: Mor/Aedion 

LaffyTaffy: I can't choose 

ImaRealGirl: Rhysand/Manon 

ImaRealGirl: Rhysand because we're both sinners

ImaRealGirl: Manon because we like to kill 

Theology: I guess I'm Feyre 

NinjaTurtle: can we do Rick Riordan next 

NinjaTurtle: I'm TJ 

MacandCheese: shouldn't I be Thomas Jefferson Jr.? 

Non-Stop: no John is 

Non-Stop: I call Swagnus 

AaronBurrSir: I'm carter 

PYT: Piper is my main girl 

AngelicaPickles: Reyna

ImaRealGirl: Sadie

LizardSky: Hazel 

GeneralGeorge: I'm Annabeth all the way 

LadyMartha: I guess that makes me Percy 

LaffyTaffy: Leo fucking Valdez 

HotPants: Blitzen 

HotPants: I relate to him on a spiritual level 

Theology: Sam all the way bitches 

MacandCheese: Jason Grace 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I would like to be Frank 

PYT: well that was fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am complete and utter trash. But that's okay because these guys are trash as well. Do you agree with my headcanons?


	5. operation get our idiot friends together because their to stupid to do themselves begins!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GeneralGeorge: you ready ladies?
> 
> LadyMartha: ready to win 
> 
> AngelicaPickles: everyone knows what the plan is? 
> 
> ImaRealGirl: yeah we're set to go sis 
> 
> LadyMartha: let operation get our idiot friends together because their to stupid to do themselves begin! 
> 
> ImaRealGirl: go go power rangers!

GeneralGeorge: you ready ladies?

LadyMartha: ready to win 

AngelicaPickles: everyone knows what the plan is? 

ImaRealGirl: yeah we're set to go sis 

LadyMartha: let operation get our idiot friends together because their to stupid to do themselves begin! 

ImaRealGirl: go go power rangers! 

\---

GeneralGeorge has created a group chat 

GeneralGeorge has named group chat so what's up 

GeneralGeorge has added MacandCheese

MacandCheese: what's up

GeneralGeorge: nothing much just wanted to talk 

GeneralGeorge: so how's living with Madison 

MacandCheese: it's been good 

MacandCheese: he's a much better roommate than Lee 

GeneralGeorge: *cringes at the thought of living with Lee* 

GeneralGeorge: I totally forgot about that man 

MacandCheese: yeah.....

MacandCheese: it's better with Madison though

MacandCheese: you know he's been my best friend since 5th grade 

MacandCheese: I don't know why he wanted to be friends with me though 

MacandCheese: I'm kinda of an asshole if you haven't noticed 

GeneralGeorge: you're not that big of an asshole 

MacandCheese: try to tell that to Hamilton 

GeneralGeorge: the problem with you two is that your so different and yet so similar 

MacandCheese: huh?

GeneralGeorge: you both have very different views on things but you both have big mouths 

MacandCheese: oh I guess that makes sense 

GeneralGeorge: how did you and James meet? 

MacandCheese: have I never told you that?

GeneralGeorge: nope

MacandCheese: oh well it's a really good story 

MacandCheese: so as you know I'm quite tall

MacandCheese: and I've always been tall 

MacandCheese: I've also known I was gay for forever 

MacandCheese: so kids would pick on me back then about my height and my gayness

MacandCheese: the worse name I was ever called was gay giant dick sucker

GeneralGeorge: kids suck 

MacandCheese: they really do 

MacandCheese: anyways Madison was transferred into my class about a quarter of the year and he was very sick so a lot of the the kids took a break from bullying me and turned to him. But unlike me Madison wasn't even phased my what they said

GeneralGeorge: really? 

MacandCheese: he had heard it all before because his parents are assholes and told him they wished they were blessed with a strong son instead of a sickly one 

GeneralGeorge: those fuckers

MacandCheese: exactly how I feel! 

MacandCheese: anyways after realizing James wouldn't be phased they switched their focus back to me 

MacandCheese: one day this guy and his friends decided to gang up on me and.... Well you get the idea 

GeneralGeorge: God Thomas 

MacandCheese: anyways James found them beating the ever living shit out of me and he just lost it and started yelling at these kids 

GeneralGeorge: I can't imagine Madison yelling at anyone 

MacandCheese: it was kinda of terrifying

MacandCheese: after the assfucks ran away he helped me get fixed up and walked home with. When we got to my house my mom invited him in so we kinda of told each other everything after just knowing each other for one day 

MacandCheese: and we've been as thick as thieves ever since 

GeneralGeorge: holy shit man

MacandCheese: yeah

MacandCheese: I honestly don't know where I would be without James 

GeneralGeorge: you really love him don't you 

MacandCheese: yeah I do

GeneralGeorge: that's really cool though! 

GeneralGeorge: another question 

MacandCheese: uh huh

GeneralGeorge: you want to be one of my groomsmen?

MacandCheese: dude I would love to be! 

MacandCheese: do I get to plan the bachelor party;) 

GeneralGeorge: lol! You're going to have to fight Alex and Laf for that 

MacandCheese: never mind I don't have a death wish

GeneralGeorge: good choice 

\---

LadyMartha has created a group chat 

LadyMartha has named group chat what's up with you and Aaron

LadyMartha has added Theology 

Theology: There is nothing up with me and Aaron 

LadyMartha: lair 

LadyMartha: I see how you stare at him during classes 

Theology: is it really that obvious? 

LadyMartha: to everyone but him 

Theology: ughhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Theology: what do I do Martha?!?!

Theology: I've liked him for a while and he just doesn't seem to notice 

LadyMartha: well one you need to chill 

LadyMartha: and two why don't you just tell him how you feel

Theology: what?!?!

Theology: are you crazy?!?!

Theology: I can't just tell him!

Theology: what if he doesn't like me back and if I tell him he won't want to be friends anymore!

LadyMartha: Theo chill 

LadyMartha: I'm certain he feels the same way about you 

Theology: you think 

LadyMartha: yes! 

Theology: like youre 100%

LadyMartha: like 95% 

Theology: MARTHA 

Theology: THAT MEAN THERE IS A FIVE PERCENT CHANCE HE DOESNT LIKE ME BACK 

Theology: no I'm not telling him 

Theology: I can't 

Theology: I just have to wait it out you know

Theology: I just have to wait for it 

LadyMartha: you are impossible 

\---

AngelicaPickles has created a group chat 

AngelicaPickles has named group chat two of three sisters 

AngelicaPickles has added LizardSky 

AngelicaPickles: Eliza let's talk 

LizardSky: I'm scared 

LizardSky: I feel like you're about to tell me our non existing dog has died

AngelicaPickles: our non existing dog has not died 

AngelicaPickles: no we need to talk about Maria

LizardSky: what about Maria

AngelicaPickles: do you like Maria Eliza?

LizardSky: yeah she's my best friend

AngelicaPickles: do you think she's pretty?

LizardSky: God yes 

LizardSky: she's beautiful 

AngelicaPickles: have you ever considered going out with her

LizardSky: what

LizardSky: why would that thought even cross my mind 

LizardSky: why would that thought even cross your mind

AngelicaPickles: Eliza 

LizardSky: I don't like Maria 

LizardSky: I don't 

AngelicaPickles: you seem to be trying to convince yourself more than me sis

LizardSky: I don't like Maria

LizardSky: I don't...

\---

ImaRealGirl has created a group chat 

ImaRealGirl has named group chat hey you should date Laf 

ImaRealGirl has added HotPants

HotPants: no Peggy

HotPants: stop Peggy 

ImaRealGirl: yes Hercules 

ImaRealGirl: go Hercules 

HotPants: Laf is my best friend 

ImaRealGirl: I'm hurt I thought I was your best friend 

ImaRealGirl: and when has that stopped anyone before 

HotPants: Laf doesn't even like me like that 

ImaRealGirl: HA

Hotpants: what

ImaRealGirl: YOU SAID LAF DOESNT EVEN LIKE YOU LIKE THAT NOT THAT YOU DONT LIKE THEM LIKE THAT

Hotpants: shit

HotPants: that's not what I meant Peggy 

ImaRealGirl: I'm going to ask you a question and you have to answer it truthfully 

HotPants: I don't want to 

ImaRealGirl: to fucking bad ya fuckwad 

ImaRealGirl: do you think they're hot?

ImaRealGirl: ANSWER TRUTHFULLY 

HotPants: yes but so does everyone else

ImaRealGirl: true dat

ImaRealGirl: on a scale of one to ten how close are you to Laf?

HotPants: I feel like it's 8.9 

HotPants: I mean I lived with them and we're best friends but we've only known each other for a year 

ImaRealGirl: I can see that 

ImaRealGirl: last question 

ImaRealGirl: if the opportunity was there would you date them 

HotPants: I...

ImaRealGirl: answer truthfully Herc 

HotPants: yes 

HotPants: yes I would

ImaRealGirl: I KNEW IT 

ImaRealGirl: I FUCKING KNEW IT 

ImaRealGirl: EVERYONE CAN SUCK MY DICK 

HotPants: the dick you no longer have 

ImaRealGirl: shut up you know I was talking about

ImaRealGirl: THE POINT IS

ImaRealGirl: I knew it 

HotPants: yes we get it Peggy 

ImaRealGirl: ya gotta go for it Herc! 

HotPants: no 

ImaRealGirl: and why not?!?!

HotPants: because if they don't feel next year will be hella awkward 

HotPants: and I can't deal with awkward between us right now 

ImaRealGirl: but if you don't even try you could be missing out on your forever 

HotPants: my forever?

ImaRealGirl: YES HERCULES YOUR FOREVER!!!

ImaRealGirl: Lafayette could be the person you marry and make a life with and if you don't go for it you could miss your chance 

HotPants: you know I don't believe in that shit pegs 

ImaRealGirl: well I do!

ImaRealGirl: and that's what I want for you

HotPants: you really believe that? 

ImaRealGirl: absolutely 

HotPants: I'll think about it 

\---

AngelicaPickles has created a group chat 

AngelicaPickles has named group chat about turtle boy 

AngelicaPickles has added Non-Stop

Non-Stop: what about John 

AngelicaPickles: okay Alex I'm going to try to say this as carefully as possible 

Non-Stop: is John okay?!?!

AngelicaPickles: John is fine to my knowledge 

Non-Stop: oh thank god 

Non-Stop: sorry he hasn't texted me all day and I'm already on edge since he's with Henry 24/7 

AngelicaPickles: it's okay Alex to be worried 

Non-Stop: thank Angie

Non-Stop: anyways what did you want to tell me

AngelicaPickles: Alex I have a theory 

Non-Stop: is it a game theory?

AngelicaPickles: no it's about you and John 

Non-Stop: what about me and John 

AngelicaPickles: I think you guys like each other 

Non-Stop: well of course we like each other 

AngelicaPickles: no like like Alex

AngelicaPickles: like a lot 

Non-Stop has left group chat

AngelicaPickles: oh Alexander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me forever to write! But here it is!


	6. Part 2 of Phase 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GeneralGeorge: how everything going?

GeneralGeorge: how everything going? 

LadyMartha: I'm about to kill Theo 

GeneralGeorge: didn't go well?

LadyMartha: she doesn't believe me that he likes her back 

LadyMartha: I'm hoping Aaron is going to be easier to work with 

ImaRealGirl: you're screwed Mar 

LadyMartha: fuck 

AngelicaPickles: Eliza is in denial and Alex just left the chat 

AngelicaPickles: he won't talk to me right now

ImaRealGirl: yeah she pounded on his door for about twenty minutes 

ImaRealGirl: and he's listening to the weekend 

ImaRealGirl: he only listens to the weekend when he's hella pissed 

GeneralGeorge: fuck 

AngelicaPickles: fuck is right because that means I have to go another route with John since they're so goddamn similar 

AngelicaPickles: and I have no fucking clue to do about Maria

ImaRealGirl: if Alex doesn't talk to you I'll deal with him and while you handle John

ImaRealGirl: which will probably will have to happen because Alex can hold a grudge like no other 

AngelicaPickles: thanks Peg! 

AngelicaPickles: how did things go with Herc

ImaRealGirl: HE SAID HE WOULD GO OUT WITH THEM

AngelicaPickles: OMG

LadyMartha: YES

GeneralGeorge: if it was that easy to get Herc to admit it Laf should be a breeze 

ImaRealGirl: now the challenge is to get them to do something about it 

ImaRealGirl: so how did things go with Thomas 

GeneralGeorge: boy is obviously in love with Madison but is to stupid to see it 

AngelicaPickles: *couch* Alex and John *cough* 

LadyMartha: exactly 

ImaRealGirl: hopefully for your sake Madison has more sense 

GeneralGeorge: hopefully 

LadyMartha: everyone ready for part two of phase one 

AngelicaPickles: as ready as I'll ever be 

ImaRealGirl: let's do this thing! 

\---

ImaRealGirl has created a group chat 

ImaRealGirl has named group chat hey Laf! 

ImaRealGirl has added LaffyTaffy 

LaffyTaffy: Hey Peggy! 

ImaRealGirl: whatcha doing?

LaffyTaffy: listening to Sia while talking to you and waiting for Herc to call me 

ImaRealGirl: you two are so cute 

LaffyTaffy: we are the cutest thank you very much 

ImaRealGirl: quick question Laf 

LaffyTaffy: shoot 

ImaRealGirl: have you ever thought of dating Herc?

ImaRealGirl: just asking for a friend

LaffyTaffy: yes I have 

LaffyTaffy: when I first met him I had the the biggest crush on him 

LaffyTaffy: I mean he's sweet, talented, and attractive 

LaffyTaffy: but as we became I closer I became scared of asking him out in fear of losing our friendship 

ImaRealGirl: so you like him 

LaffyTaffy: I do 

LaffyTaffy: a lot

ImaRealGirl: then why don't tell him 

LaffyTaffy: because I can't loose him pegs 

LaffyTaffy: he's my best friend and I just can't loose him over something stupid like a crush 

ImaRealGirl: yeah but what if he feels the same way

LaffyTaffy: in the chance he does feel the same what if doesn't work out and we break out 

ImaRealGirl: you'll never know unless you try 

LaffyTaffy: Peggy I've lost to many people in my life 

LaffyTaffy: I can't take anymore heartbreak 

ImaRealGirl: what if he told you he had feelings for you 

LaffyTaffy: then I would throw that all aside for him 

LaffyTaffy: Peggy I don't think you understand weight of the situation 

LaffyTaffy: I don't like Hercules 

LaffyTaffy: I am in love with him 

ImaRealGirl: Lafayette...

LaffyTaffy: I'm helpless whenever I'm around him 

LaffyTaffy: it's like I'm falling down a bottomless hole 

ImaRealGirl: Lafayette I had no clue 

LaffyTaffy: yeah you didn't 

LaffyTaffy: look I've got to go Herc is calling

LaffyTaffy has left group chat 

ImaRealGirl: I have so much work to do

\--- 

AngelicaPickles has created a group chat 

AngelicaPickles has named group chat how's it going turtle boy

AngelicaPickles has added NinjaTurtle 

NinjaTurtle: it's going okay 

NinjaTurtle: why do you ask 

AngelicaPickles: just wondering 

AngelicaPickles: Alex said you haven't texted him all day

NinjaTurtle: oh I just have a lot on my mind you know 

AngelicaPickles: yeah I get it 

AngelicaPickles: just make sure to tell him you're okay he was worried

NinjaTurtle: he was 

AngelicaPickles: he's always worried about you John 

AngelicaPickles: you do know he cares about you a lot 

NinjaTurtle: I know 

AngelicaPickles: I don't think you do 

AngelicaPickles: anyways enough about Alexander what have you been thinking about?

NinjaTurtle: you know stuff 

AngelicaPickles: c'mon Laurens you're going to need to do better than that 

NinjaTurtle: oh I forgot I'm speaking someone who wants to be a psychologist 

AngelicaPickles: exactly 

NinjaTurtle: fine ill humor you 

NinjaTurtle: I have feelings for a guy

AngelicaPickles: oh really 

NinjaTurtle: yeah 

AngelicaPickles: well I'm just going to assume you aren't going to tell me who this mystery guy is so I'm not even going to ask 

NinjaTurtle: good choice 

AngelicaPickles: I am going to ask if I know this guy

NinjaTurtle: yes...

AngelicaPickles: so what's the problem 

NinjaTurtle: well I like him a lot and almost certain he feels the same way except

AngelicaPickles: except 

NinjaTurtle: except I don't think he knows he does 

AngelicaPickles: oh 

NinjaTurtle: yeah and I'm terrified I'm only seeing what I want to see and he doesn't feel the same way 

NinjaTurtle: I don't feel like getting crushed

AngelicaPickles: understandable 

NinjaTurtle: what do I do Angie

AngelicaPickles: well I'm going to tell you what I think from a big sister point of view 

AngelicaPickles: i wouldn't be to worried if I was you 

NinjaTurtle: why is that 

AngelicaPickles: because if this boy is who I think he is your not just seeing what you want to see he really does like you

NinjaTurtle: 1 is it that apparent? And 2 you really think so? 

AngelicaPickled: 1 yes it is and 2 absolutely 

AngelicaPickles: he's just really stupid 

NinjaTurtle: what should I do 

AngelicaPickles: let him figure it out before you do anything 

AngelicaPickles: because if you act on it he might get freaked out and stop talking to you and then he'll realize that he likes you back but by then be to hurt to be with him 

NinjaTurtle: wow you really have thought about this 

AngelicaPickles: yeah well let's just say I recently fucked up real good and he is not talking to me right now 

NinjaTurtle: oh shit 

AngelicaPickles: yeah I'm going to have Peggy deal with him 

NinjaTurtle: good luck on that 

NinjaTurtle: thanks for this Angelica 

AngelicaPickles: what are friends for

\---

LadyMartha has created a group chat 

LadyMartha has named group chat Theo 

LadyMartha has added AaronBurrSir

LadyMartha: Aaron I know how you feel about Theo

AaronBurrSir: that was forward 

AaronBurrSir: and how do you know that 

LadyMartha: because you're more obvious than Alex being in love with John 

AaronBurrSir: holy shit 

AaronBurrSir: do you think she knows

LadyMartha: THATS THE PROBLEM 

LadyMartha: EVERYONE BUT HER KNOWS 

LadyMartha: ITS THE SAME THING WITH YOU 

AaronBurrSir: what do you mean 

LadyMartha: what I mean is you both like each other a lot and you both are oblivious to it! 

AaronBurrSir: what 

AaronBurrSir: what are you trying to say Martha

LadyMartha: what I'm trying to say is that Theo likes you

AaronBurrSir: you're joking right? 

LadyMartha: NO 

LadyMartha: IM LUCKY IF I CAN GET HER TO SHUT UP ABOUT YOU 

AaronBurrSir: there's no way 

LadyMartha: BUT THERE IS 

AaronBurrSir: Martha this isn't funny please don't joke with me 

LadyMartha: IM NOT JOKING 

LadyMartha: look she doesn't believe that you feel the same way 

AaronBurrSir: are you 100% sure 

LadyMartha: YES 

AaronBurrSir: okay I believe you 

AaronBurrSir: oh shit what do I now 

LadyMartha: im about to offer you a huge favor that you should take 

AaronBurrSir: what is it 

LadyMartha: do you want me to tell her how you feel 

AaronBurrSir: no 

AaronBurrSir: I'm not having you middle man for me 

LadyMartha: are you sure 

AaronBurrSir: I'm sure 

AaronBurrSir: but there is something I do need you to do for me

LadyMartha: go on

\---

GeneralGeorge has created a group chat 

GeneralGeorge has named group chat do you a date 

GeneralGeorge has added WhyAmIEvenHere 

WhyAmIEvenHere: today?

WhyAmIEvenHere: nope 

GeneralGeorge: no to my wedding dumbass 

WhyAmIEvenHere: that is still a no 

WhyAmIEvenHere: why

GeneralGeorge: well you're going to be one of my groomsmen so you're going to need to bring someone

GeneralGeorge: you need to make me look good

WhyAmIEvenHere: one did you just ask me to be one of your groomsmen without even asking me and two why would I need to a date to make you look good 

GeneralGeorge: because reasons that's why! 

WhyAmIEvenHere: fine I'll be one of your groomsmen 

WhyAmIEvenHere: who else is there 

GeneralGeorge: Alex, John, Herc, Aaron, and Thomas 

GeneralGeorge: and now you 

WhyAmIEvenHere: did you forget Lafayette 

GeneralGeorge: Martha wants them in her bridal party and I want them as my best person (I mean they are my sibling after all) so we're kind of at war on that right now 

WhyAmIEvenHere: thats hilarious!

WhyAmIEvenHere: I didn't think you and Martha ever fought 

GeneralGeorge: only over Laf 

GeneralGeorge: anyways since you don't have a date I do have a suggestion 

WhyAmIEvenHere: oh god

GeneralGeorge: what about Thomas

WhyAmIEvenHere: no 

WhyAmIEvenHere: so many no's 

GeneralGeorge: and why is that

WhyAmIEvenHere: because I just can't 

GeneralGeorge: you'll never know till you try 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I don't want to try

GeneralGeorge: and why is that 

WhyAmIEvenHere: because I don't want things to be hurt that's why 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I don't want to talk about this anymore

GeneralGeorge: James if you like Thomas you should go for it 

WhyAmIEvenHere: you don't understand 

GeneralGeorge: no I don't 

WhyAmIEvenHere: look I know you just went for it when you realized you liked Mar but I can't do it 

GeneralGeorge: and why can't you 

WhyAmIEvenHere: because I've waited to long

GeneralGeorge: you can never wait to long 

WhyAmIEvenHere: you can if you've been infatuated with someone since the 6th grade 

GeneralGeorge: oh my god 

WhyAmIEvenHere: yeah 

WhyAmIEvenHere look George I don't want to talk about this anymore 

WhyAmIEvenHere: has left group chat 

\--- 

PYT has created a group chat 

PYT has named group chat I need help 

PYT has added LadyMartha, Theology, ImaRealGirl, and AngelicaPickles 

LadyMartha: what's up Maria 

PYT: I want to ask Eliza out but I don't know how 

ImaRealGirl: holy shit 

AngelicaPickles: *SCREAMING* 

AngelicaPickles: Maria you have made my life so much easier 

PYT: huh 

AngelicaPickles: look Eliza is in denial that she likes you and I was trying to convince her to ask you out but you just made my life so much easier 

LadyMartha: THE WEDDING 

PYT: I'm Mar as much as I like Liz I don't want to marry her just yet 

LadyMartha: no I mean she could be your date to my wedding 

Theology: okay mar i love you but you don't just invite someone to a wedding like that 

Theology: but it might be the best place to ask her out 

Theology: Maria needs to something amazing to seep Liza off her feet 

PYT: what did you have in mind 

Theology: what is the most romantic thing you can think of 

AngelicaPickles: a walk in Paris 

LadyMartha: ice skating 

PYT: listening to music all day and cuddling 

ImaRealGirl: cheesecake

AngelicaPickles: is that really the most romantic thing you could think of 

ImaRealGirl: yes 

AngelicaPickles: you suck at this 

Theology: for me it's love letters 

PYT: this is all nice and all but what would Eliza like 

PYT: I wish I could just ask her 

Theology: you can't ask her

Theology: BUT I CAN BRB 

Theology has left group chat 

\--- 

Theology has created a group chat 

Theology has named group chat question 

Theology has added LizardSky

LizardSky: yes

Theology: what's is your idea for the perfect date 

LizardSky: why 

Theology: because reasons now answer the fucking question 

LizardSky: Jesus Christ fine 

LizardSky: the perfect date for me would be a picnic in Central Park and going to my favorite bookstore and then getting cheesecake 

Theology: thank you! 

Theology has left group 

LizardSky: what the hell

\---

Theology has joined group chat 

Theology: the perfect date for her would be a picnic in Central Park and going to my favorite bookstore and then getting cheesecake 

ImaRealGirl: I KNEW CHEESECAKE WAS THE ANSWER 

AngelicaPickles: shut the fuck up Peggy 

PYT: OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH 

PYT: how can I ever repay you!?!?!

Theology: name your first born child after me 

Theology: it works both ways 

PYT: I think I can work with that 

PYT: except if I marry Liz

PYT: then we birth babies 

Theology: fine name your first adopted child after me 

Theology: it still works both ways 

AngelicaPickles: Theo Schulyer 

AngelicaPickles: I like it 

ImaRealGirl: or Theo Reynolds

PYT: I will happily take Liz's name 

LadyMartha: aw you guys are going to be such a cute couple 

PYT: except now there's only one problem 

LadyMartha: what's that 

PYT: how the fuck do I ask her out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question for you guys, would you want to see them actually getting together or just the group chats? I think I'm definitely going to with Lams because I have this whole planned out for them. But yeah just let me know I'm the comments


	7. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AngelicaPickles: AARON FUCKING BURR SIR
> 
> AaronBurrSir: yes Angie 
> 
> AngelicaPickles: I JUST FUCKING SAW YOU WATCHING MY LITTLE PONY 
> 
> Non-Stop: holy shit 
> 
> Theology: *DEAD* 
> 
> AngelicaPickles: WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME

AngelicaPickles has created a group chat 

AngelicaPickles as named group chat AARON 

AngelicaPickles has added AaronBurrSir, LaffyTaffy, HotPants, NinjaTurtle, Non-Stop, Theology, MacandCheese, WhyAmIEvenHere, PYT, LiazrdSky, ImaRealGirl, GeneralGeorge, and LadyMartha

AngelicaPickles: AARON FUCKING BURR SIR

AaronBurrSir: yes Angie 

AngelicaPickles: I JUST FUCKING SAW YOU WATCHING MY LITTLE PONY 

Non-Stop: holy shit 

Theology: *DEAD* 

AngelicaPickles: WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME

AaronBurrSir: oh it's not like you tell me everything! 

AaronBurrSir: MISS THATS NOT MY UNDERWEAR IN THE TREE

AaronBurrSir: WHEN THEY TOTALLY WERE 

NinjaTurtle: THOSE WERE YOURS

PYT: I FUCKING KNEW IT

MacandCheese: Angie how the hell did you underwear get in a tree 

AngelicaPickles: WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT

ImaRealGirl: ...

AngelicaPickles: PEGGY

ImaRealGirl: I didn't know it was some big secret! 

LizardSky: not cool man 

LadyMartha: not cool at all

AngelicaPickles: oh it wasn't a big secret...

AngelicaPickles: JUST LIKE YOU A TATTOO OF A CHRIS EVANS FACE ON YOUR BUTT ISNT A BIG SECRET 

ImaRealGirl: ANGELICA 

PYT: YOU HAVE WHAT 

LaffyTaffy: WHAT 

LizardSky: PEGGY 

AaronBurrSir: WHEN DID YOU GET A TATTOO 

NinjaTurtle: YOU HAVE CAPTAIN AMERICAS FACE ON YOUR ASS?!?!

HotPants: LET ME SEE LET ME SEE

ImaRealGirl: HERCULES FUCKED  
A HORSE ONCE 

LaffyTaffy: :0 

WhyAmIEvenHere: what the fuck...

ImaRealGirl: if I'm going down I'm taking everyone with me 

HotPants: THAT IS NOT TRUE 

Non-Stop: it makes sense on why you can't go around horses anymore

LaffyTaffy: Herc why did you fuck a horse 

HotPants: WHY DO YOU OWN LINGERIE 

LaffyTaffy: FUCK YOU 

LizardSky: DEAR LORD JESUS 

LaffyTaffy: ELIZA WROTE AN EROTIC NOVEL 

MacandCheese: whaaaaaaaat

Theology: *SCREAMING* 

WhyAmIEvenHere: *CRYING* 

Non-Stop: ELIZA SCHULYER YOU DIRTY HOE 

LiazrdSky: ALEX HAS THE BIGGEST DADDY KINK 

AngelicaPickles: whaaaaat 

LaffyTaffy: OH 

HotPants: MY

ImaRealGirl: GOD 

NinjaTurtle: I FUCKING KNEW IT 

Non-Stop: ELIZA I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE 

NinjaTurtle: ALEXANDER HAMILTON HAS THE DADDY KINK 

NinjaTurtle: THIS IS PRICELESS

Non-Stop: JOHN ONCE HAD A WET DREAM ABOUT MR. BEAN 

PYT: I CANT BREATHE 

NinjaTurtle: MARIA DATED LEE 

MacandCheese: MARIA NO 

MacandCheese: MARIA I TRUSTED YOU 

PYT: THOMAS CRIED DURING THE NOTEBOOK 

WhyAmIEvenHere: DUDE 

MacandCheese: When James was little he CockPorn instead of PopCorn

Theology: *dead* 

WhyAmIEvenHere: Theo threw up on Obama

LadyMartha: ONE WHEN DID YOU MEET THE PRESIDENT AND TWO WHY HAVENT I HEARD THIS STORY AND JAMES HAS

Theology: MARTHA HAD BIEBER FEVER

GeneralGeorge: MARTHA I LOVED YOU 

LadyMartha: GEORGE WROTE FANFICTION IN HIGHSCHOOL 

Non-Stop: oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secrets have been told


	8. The chapter that took forever

ImaRealGirl: we should play a game 

PYT: okay what 

ImaRealGirl: would fuck them 

NinjaTurtle: what the hell is that 

ImaRealGirl: it's kinda of like never have I never 

ImaRealGirl: everyone will have ten points and someone will call a person (for example Bob the Builder) and the other people will answer if they would fuck that person or not last person with points wins 

Non-Stop: I'm down 

ImaRealGirl: okay cool! 

ImaRealGirl: the order will be me, Eliza, Angie, Aaron, Alex, John, Laf, Herc, Maria, Martha, Theo, Thomas, James, and George 

GeneralGeorge: why am I last

ImaRealGirl: because reasons 

ImaRealGirl: okay so let's start off with Tom Riddle 

Non-Stop: wait are we talk about pre nose job Tom or voldy Tom

ImaRealGirl: pre voldy Tom 

Non-Stop: then hell fucking ya

NinjaTurtle: 9

HotPants: 9

LaffyTaffy: 9 

PYT: 9 

AngelicaPickles: 9 

MacandCheese: 9 

LizardSky: I'm a lesbian and I would still fuck Pre Voldy is hella fine 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 9 

GeneralGeorge: 10 

LadyMartha: 9 

Theology: 9 

AaronBurrSir: 9 

ImaRealGirl: EVEN YOU AARON 

AaronBurrSir: did you not see him in the movies 

AaronBurrSir: I would go gay for that any day 

LizardSky: my turn! 

LizardSky: Alexander Hamilton 

ImaRealGirl: are you fucking kidding me Liz 

Non-Stop: *dying of laughter* 

Non-Stop: thank you Liz for this 

Non-Stop: 8 

ImaRealGirl: since I'm his sister that going to be a big no

AaronBurrSir: 9 

AngelicaPickles: 9 

Theology: 8 

AaronBurrSir: really Theo 

Theology: yes 

NinjaTurtle: look I have very high standards 

Non-Stop: I can freestyle and make pasta

NinjaTurtle: oh no you're meeting all my standards!!

NinjaTurtle: 8 

HotPants: 8 

LaffyTaffy: 8 

Non-Stop: yes follow me children 

PYT: 8 

MacandCheese: 8 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 8 

GeneralGeorge: can't do it sorry

LadyMartha: as the mom friend I can't have sex with any of you 

GeneralGeorge: but we love all of you 

Non-Stop: thanks mom and dad

AngelicaPickles: Percy Jackson 

Non-Stop: hell fucking ya 

NinjaTurtle: 7

HotPants: 7 

LaffyTaffy: 7 

PYT: 7 

MacandCheese: 7

AaronBurrSir: 8 

Theology: 7 

LizardSky: 8 

ImaRealGirl: 8 

LadyMartha: 8

WhyAmIEvenHere: 7

AaronBurrSir: Jennifer Lawrence

LizardSky: is that even a question 

LizardSky: 7 

PYT: 6 

Non-Stop: 6 

Theology: 6 

HotPants: 6 

LaffyTaffy: 6 

ImaRealGirl: 7 

AngelicaPickles: 8 

LadyMartha: 7 

GeneralGeorge: 8 

MacandCheese: 6 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 7 

MacandCheese: really? 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I'm very gay 

NinjaTurtle: I am also very gay so 7 

Non-Stop: Anthony Ramos 

MacandCheese: is this old white dude Ramos from history or hot Ramos from the musical 

Non-Stop: hot musical one

MacandCheese: 5 

ImaRealGirl: 6 

HotPants: 5 

LaffyTaffy: 5 he's so precious!

AngelicaPickles: he really is 7 

LaffyTaffy: like I would fuck him and then give him hot coco and cookies and make him live with me forever 

NinjaTurtle: he also looks exactly like me

Non-Stop: he kinda of does 

NinjaTurtle: he's like my long lost brother 

Non-Stop: or maybe he is you! 

LizardSky: gasp! 

LizardSky: 7 

AaronBurrSir: 8 

GeneralGeorge: 8 

PYT: 5 

NinjaTurtle: he looks to much like me can't do it 

LadyMartha: 6 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 6 

Theology: 5 

NinjaTurtle: where is everyone at 

ImaRealGirl: I have 6, eliza has 7, Angie has 7, Aaron has 8, Alex has 6, John has 7, Laf has 5, Herc has 5, Maria has 5, Martha has 6, Theo has 5, Thomas has 5, James has 6, and George has 8 

Non-Stop: George and Aaron are winning we can't let that happen 

HotPants: attack the straight dudes!

NinjaTurtle: on it! 

NinjaTurtle: Megan Fox

GeneralGeorge: damn it 

AaronBurrSir: 7 

Non-Stop: look Megan Fox is the answer for every straight guy ever 

Non-Stop: 6 

LaffyTaffy: I have standards 6 

HotPants: 5 

LadyMartha: 6 

Theology: 5 

PYT: 5 

LizardSky: 6 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 6 

MacandCheese: 5 

AngelicaPickles: 7 

ImaRealGirl: 5 I've had a crush on her since transformers 

LaffyTaffy: Emma Watson 

LizardSky: are you kidding me! 

LizardSky: 4 

AngelicaPickles: 6 

GeneralGeorge: 6 

ImaRealGirl: 4 

HotPants: 4 

Non-Stop: 5 

NinjaTurtle: everyone would want to fuck Emma Watson 6 

PYT: 4 

Theology: 4 

LadyMartha: 5 

MacandCheese: 4 

AaronBurrSir: 6 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 5 

HotPants: Markiplier 

Non-Stop: 4 

NinjaTurtle: 5 

LaffyTaffy: 4 

AngelicaPickles: 5 

MacandCheese: 3 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 4 

ImaRealGirl: 3 

LizardSky: 4

PYT: 3 

LadyMartha: 4 

AaronBurrSir: 5 

GeneralGeorge: 5 

Theology: 3

PYT: Danisnotonfire 

LizardSky: 4 

Non-Stop: 3

NinjaTurtle: 4 

HotPants: 3 

LaffyTaffy: 3 

MacandCheese: 2 

WhyAmIEvenHere: 3 

LadyMartha: 3 

GeneralGeorge: 4 

AaronBurrSir: 5 

ImaRealGirl: 2 

Theology: 2 

AngelicaPickles: 4 

AngelicaPickles: British boys own my ass

LadyMartha: hey Peggy I can't think of a person can I choose a kink instead 

ImaRealGirl: sure! 

LadyMartha: Daddy kink 

Non-Stop: MARTHA I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS 

ImaRealGirl: question on your kink Alex

ImaRealGirl: do you like being called Daddy or calling your partner daddy 

Non-Stop: I DONT HAVE TO FUCKING ANSWER THAT 

ImaRealGirl: PLEASE

NinjaTurtle: I bet it's calling his partner daddy 

LaffyTaffy: it's totally that 

NinjaTurtle: 3 btw 

HotPants: HOLY SHIT 

LizardSky: YOU TOO 

NinjaTurtle: yes 

ImaRealGirl: WILL YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION 

NinjaTurtle: I like being called daddy 

ImaRealGirl: *SCREAMING* 

GeneralGeorge: 3 

GeneralGeorge: and we are not talking about this 

AaronBurrSir: but I think we should 

Non-Stop: I CANT FUCKING BREATHE 

NinjaTurtle: THIS IS TO MUCH

LaffyTaffy: *DEAD*

HotPants: *FUCKING DEAD* 

MacandCheese: WHAT IS LIFE 

GeneralGeorge has left group chat 

LizardSky: GEORGE COME BACK 

AngelicaPickles: WE STILL LOVE YOU 

Theology: *super dead* 

ImaRealGirl: *ultra dead* 

Theology: it's my turn now but I'm not sure how the hell to move one 

LadyMartha: I think George is out 

PYT: ya he is 

Theology: crap that means Aaron's winning I think 

WhyAmIEvenHere: Eliza has 4, Alex has 2, John has 3, Aaron has 5, Thomas has 2, Herc has 3, Laf had 3, Martha has 3, Maria has 3, Peggy has 2, Theo has 2, Angie has 4, and I have 3

Theology: shit Aaron's winning 

AaronBurrSir: it's because unlike you people I have standards 

Non-Stop: we have standards!

NinjaTurtle: just really loose ones! 

AaronBurrSir: whatever you say 

AngelicaPickles: I can practically feel you rolling your eyes Aaron 

AaronBurrSir: good 

Theology: Annabeth Chase

AaronBurrSir: 4 

LiazrdSky: 3 

ImaRealGirl: 1 shit 

PYT: 2 

NinjaTurtle: I'm super gay 3 

Non-Stop: 1 

MacandCheese: I would rather just praise her for her amazingness 2 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I am also super gay 3 

LaffyTaffy: 2 

HotPants: 2

AngelicaPickles: 3 

LadyMartha: 3 

MacandCheese: my turn! 

MacandCheese: Jesus 

NinjaTurtle: what the hell man 

WhyAmIEvenHere: this is why we can't have nice things Thomas

Non-Stop: I'm out

AaronBurrSir: what the actual fuck Alex 

Non-Stop: no but imagine having sex with Jesus though! 

PYT: damn he right 

PYT: 1

ImaRealGirl: I'm out 

AngelicaPickles: 3 

LizardSky: 3 

LaffyTaffy: 1 

HotPants: Laf no! 

LadyMartha: I feel like the rest of us can say no to this so can we move on 

WhyAmIEvenHere: yes please

WhyAmIEvenHere: Melanie Martinez 

LaffyTaffy: I'm out 

LizardSky: 2 

AngelicaPickles: Queen 

AngelicaPickles: 2 

HotPants: 1 

NinjaTurtle: 2 

MacandCheese: 1 

AaronBurrSir: I don't know who this is 

LadyMartha: I don't ether 

Theology: well you both suck 

Theology: 1 

PYT: I'm out 

ImaRealGirl: since I'm out Liz can just go 

LizardSky: Draco 

Theology: bye 

AaronBurrSir: 3

AngelicaPickles: 1 

NinjaTurtle: 1

HotPants: I'm outtie 

LadyMartha: not really my type 

WhyAmIEvenHere: Draco was my first crush like ever

WhyAmIEvenHere: 2

MacandCheese: I'm out 

AngelicaPickles: Baz

WhyAmIEvenHere: 1 

NinjaTurtle: I feel like I just lost twenty points just from him 

LadyMartha:I don't know who this is ether

AaronBurrSir: 2 

LizardSky: 1

AaronBurrSir: troye Sivan 

LizardSky: adios 

WhyAmIEvenHere: I will join the dead now 

AngelicaPickles: goodbye friends 

LadyMartha: I KNOW WHO THIS ONE IS 

LadyMartha: but I wouldn't have sex with him so 3 still 

LadyMartha: Emma Stone 

AaronBurrSir: you suck Martha 

AaronBurrSir: Ryan gosling

LadyMartha: 2

LadyMartha: Pam from the office 

AaronBurrSir: I can't believe you would use my love of the office against me 

Non-Stop: YAY MARTHA WINS! 

NinjaTurtle: GO MARTHA

LaffyTaffy: GO MOM 

LadyMartha: I would like to thank the academy and not knowing things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this took so long to write! I got grounded but everything is all good now!


	9. Veggie tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veggie tales is the best

NinjaTurtle has created a group chat 

NinjaTurtle has named group chat growing up in the church 

NinjaTurtle has added Non-Stop, LaffyTaffy, and HotPants

NinjaTurtle: you know my Christian up bringing has taught me many thing 

NinjaTurtle: some bad some good 

Non-Stop: start with bad

LaffyTaffy: why start with bad

Non-Stop: laf you always start with the bed

HotPants: not necessarily 

NinjaTurtle: well the bad is mainly that people can be fucking awful 

LaffyTaffy: obviously

NinjaTurtle: preachers can be such bullshiters 

NinjaTurtle: and never tell a conservative Christian that you're a liberal 

NinjaTurtle: it doesn't end well 

Non-Stop: what happened 

NinjaTurtle: well I may have mentioned to my old babysitter that I supported gay rights 

HotPants: did she bitch about it 

NinjaTurtle: no she just looked really offended and stormed off

LaffyTaffy: OH MY GOD 

NinjaTurtle: yeah 

Non-Stop: what's the good things

NinjaTurtle: kids church is the best place ever

HotPants: how so 

NinjaTurtle: one they have goldfish 

Non-Stop: dude I want goldfish 

NinjaTurtle: two veggie tales

LaffyTaffy: what's veggie tales

NinjaTurtle: ONLY THE BEST THING EVER 

Non-Stop: never heard of it

HotPants: me ether

NinjaTurtle: IM BUYING ALL THE VEGGIE TALES AND WE ARE WATCHING THEM WHEN WE ARE ALL TOGETHER 

LaffyTaffy: please Johnathan explain what this veggie tales is 

NinjaTurtle: one never call me Johnathan I will murder you in brutal ways 

NinjaTurtle: and veggie tales is a show where they tell bible stories or just stories with a Christian message with vegetables 

NinjaTurtle: and it's great 

NinjaTurtle: the host is Bob the tomato and Larry the cucumber 

NinjaTurtle: and it has the best music ever 

NinjaTurtle: I'm getting in my car to go buy them right now 

Non-Stop: isn't a tomato and a cucumber fruit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm an agnostic but I still throughly believe veggie tales is the best thing ever. Veggie tales is amazing and no one can tell me any different. Except the new Netflix version. That one just makes me sad with life


	10. John and Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Non-Stop: John come back to me 
> 
> NinjaTurtle: believe me I would love to 
> 
> Non-Stop: I didn't realize how much my siblings suck until I now 
> 
> NinjaTurtle: I don't think they suck 
> 
> Non-Stop: compared to you they do

Non-Stop has created a group chat 

Non-Stop has named group chat I miss you 

Non-Stop has added NinjaTurtle

Non-Stop: John come back to me 

NinjaTurtle: believe me I would love to 

Non-Stop: I didn't realize how much my siblings suck until I now 

NinjaTurtle: I don't think they suck 

Non-Stop: compared to you they do 

Non-Stop: I can't believe they used to be my only friends 

NinjaTurtle: okay what is the problem Alex

Non-Stop: EVERYTHING 

Non-Stop: they're just so annoying! 

NinjaTurtle: okay tell me everything that is annoying about them 

Non-Stop: well Peggy has pranked me in a total of ten times today 

Non-Stop: Aaron is so fucking passive 

Non-Stop: Eliza won't let me have the tv 

Non-Stop: and don't get me fucking started on Angie! 

NinjaTurtle: what did Angie do? 

Non-Stop: she's just been making wild accusations 

NinjaTurtle: okay now tell me one good thing about each of them 

Non-Stop: well Peggy is the only one who will go play Pokemon Go with me 

Non-Stop: Aaron makes the best waffles ever

Non-Stop: Eliza will listen to everything even if I'm being a dumbass 

Non-Stop: and Angie just once the best for me always 

Non-Stop: and I guess some of her claims could be correct 

NinjaTurtle: now don't you feel better 

Non-Stop: yeah I do

Non-Stop: but I still miss you 

NinjaTurtle: I miss you too Alex but you just gotta be patient 

NinjaTurtle: I'll be home before you know it 

Non-Stop: but I want you now!

NinjaTurtle: you such a whiny butt

Non-Stop: that's fucking right 

NinjaTurtle: well do you want to get on Skype and start a show together 

Non-Stop: absolutely 

NinjaTurtle: psych?

Non-Stop: fuck yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating as much! I've been marathoning psych at the moment and haven't been doing much of anything except that

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be real Lafayette is probably the kinkest person on earth.


End file.
